Keep looking

I stand alone in this long, dark hallway.

ALERT

I hear the wind escaping the air conditioner.

I see the bricks, heavy and empty.

I smell the dirt from the soles of shoes,

left there by the many people who stood before me.

It almost seems as if there is security in my stance.

Nothing can touch me.

Nothing can hurt me.

My thoughts are an array of stolen moments

repeating over and over

almost as if they’re being displayed on a huge screen

for the world to see.

My thoughts surround me,

they keep me company.

Yet, I stand alone as if,

no one can touch me

no one can hurt me

no one can love me.

Moments slip away intuitively.

Unconscious words slip through your lips.

You’re asleep, peaceful like a child.

If I move, would your eyes open?

If I speak, would the break of silence wake you?

If I breathe, would the rhythm agitate you?

Unknowing, I lay here listening to your incoherent mumbles.

“I love you.”

These three words nestled into my mind.

They encourage a smile ranging from ear to ear.

Gravity can’t hold me down.

“You’re the only one for me.”

Giddyness is slowly becoming my best friend.

My heart beats faster and it becomes challenging to stay silent.

I want to wake you.

I want to—

“Katie, you’re my everything.”

….Katie?

My name is not Katie.

The name seeping into my brain like a ticking bomb.

3….2….1…BOOM

My smile departs and my heart is now heavy.

With that I realize that

when the sun comes up

we will both be alone…again.

In my short time here,

I’ve seen a lot.

I’ve seen pain and pleasure,

love and heartache,

life and death.

I’ve seen women become whores,

men act like boys,

children grow up too fast.

I’ve seen honesty and lies,

knowledge and ignorance,

acceptance and discrimination.

In my short time here,

I’ve witnessed far too much.

My mind constantly eating away at these concepts.

These aren’t just words,

this is what I see.

What I’m forced to grasp.

And every waking second is another test,

another journey

another broken road.

That never crosses your mind.

How could it when the only thing that occupies your brain cells,

is you?

Where the tall grass sways

and the trees speak

I know I’m home.

Where the birds sing

and the spiders weave

I know I’m home.

Where the animals live

and the farms conquer

I know I’m home.

Where the nights are quiet

and the stars shine bright

I know I’m home.

Where everything is perfect

including you and I

I know I’m home.